Do Black Men Underappreciate the Value of Black Women?

Imagine, yourself as a hard-working woman. You have a full time stable job, a degree or two, your own place, a car and you meet someone that makes you feel complete.  You feel like you’re on top of the world, like you have it all… then they become someone else.

While you’re stuck in a toxic situation, he’s comfortable with where the relationship is. He doesn’t do the same things he used to do.   He does the BARE minimum and yet expects the same amount of praise as if he went above and beyond. Then, when you confront him about the issues in your relationship, it’s either your fault, or you’re irrational, or you’re just nagging him again.

Have you ever noticed that some Black Men go above and beyond for a woman of another race/ethnicity? Have you ever noticed that they would go to the ends of the earth for their friends? However, have they REALLY gone out of their way for their own partners?

Why is it that we get the honeymoon phase early in the relationship and then as soon as we’ve gotten comfortable it’s a wrap on set? Need I remind you, Black Women do NOT get to take breaks. We DO NOT get to take a sick day and decide that we need the day off. We DO NOT get to decide that we won’t be Black Women today, tomorrow or the day after that. So, after all the shit we deal with, why don’t our Black Kings appreciate the hard work that we put into them, the effort we use to maintain and uplift them? Why don’t they understand that the love we show them is so deep rooted and it comes from our core? Why do they take advantage of it?

I’ve seen it happen in my own family.  My father went from worshipping my mother , to making  some of the most degrading comments toward her, ultimately ruining her outlook on love.  My mother didn’t have to be there for him after his debilitating accident, however for the sake of the child and the life they share together, she stayed by his side.  Approximately four years later, my father is still being a rolling stone, after my mother spent a solid TWO years trying to get him back on his feet when she didn’t have to.

Personally, I’ve been underappreciated in my own relationship. For a crippling four years, I was played and lied to, hurt, cheated on, only to hear “I’m sorry and I love you”, yet the actions never matched up for the bullshit that ensued. We’d argue and scream at each other for hours, simply to avoid addressing our issues and, instead point the blame at someone else for another lie.  I walked around for years knowing that I was basically being taken for a fool. You would think, once I found out that he was dancing with the devil the same way my father was I would have left…yet I stayed for another two years, hoping that eventually something would click in his brain and he would change.

A good Black woman is a TREASURE. She is a diamond, she is covered in magic, excellence, and beauty. She is the brightest star in the sky, the sharpest tool in the box, and most importantly, she is to be well protected and taken care of. Black Men tend to have this stigma that since their mother did certain things for them, their partner would follow suit. Newsflash, it does NOT work that way…and even if it did, you’d take advantage of it.

Did you notice that BLACK women are front and center in the battlefields when there is a BLM protest? Did you notice that it is BLACK women standing up for you every single time you’re in the media being portrayed as an animal? Did you realize that the same BLACK women you’re lying to, cheating on and ultimately hurting are mothers, wives, sisters? Do you realize we are your only ALLY? We are in this fight WITH you.

Stop fighting against us and start LOVING us more. That shouldn’t have to be said because it’s 2018 and we’re still fighting for you every single day without tire, without complaining and we won’t stop. Black men, we cherish you, we appreciate you, and most importantly…we love you. We just expect the same love and gratitude in return.

 

Copyright ©2018 The Black Detour All Rights Reserved.

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Nikeita Hoyte

A product of Trinidad and Guyana raised in Brooklyn, Nikeita has always had an undeniable love for writing from a young age. The way she makes words dance on paper is unlike anything you’ve ever read before. She best describes herself as “She likes her Jameson neat, and her eye rolling skills are elite”

Nikeita Hoyte

A product of Trinidad and Guyana raised in Brooklyn, Nikeita has always had an undeniable love for writing from a young age. The way she makes words dance on paper is unlike anything you’ve ever read before. She best describes herself as “She likes her Jameson neat, and her eye rolling skills are elite”

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