Father’s Love and Guidance Lost in the Black Community?

First thing’s first, parents are a staple in all of our lives. They’re how we got here, and for some of us, these are the people who’ve held us down for 18 years or more. What happens when you begin the transition into adulthood? What happens when life comes at you hard? How do you adjust, would you fold or persevere? I always knew growing up that men were the breadwinners and they had to protect their families. Growing up I knew absolutely no different. When I was younger, my father was always the crowned King in our home. Now I’m not going to get into a whole ordeal about my dad because that’s a part of my life that can never be corrected.

Although I can only speak for myself, I believe Black women need their fathers to get them through. They need them to guide them in their lives. Let’s face it; a woman often looks at the way her father carries himself, how hard he works, how he treats his home and his family. Unconsciously they compare their fathers to their future partners. If the relationship is great, they’ll strive for a man that emulates that and won’t settle for anything less. On the other hand, there are women with ‘Daddy issues’ that trickles into trust issues when trying to find a partner. Personally, I knew the feeling of having to beg my father to spend time with me. No woman should ever have to beg for a relationship with her Dad in anyway shape or form.

I’ve watched some of the brightest and strongest little girls turn into beautiful, strong young women that have this intense wall up, all in part due to how they were treated growing up. Fathers aren’t what they used to be, and often it’s sad to see that some of them think buying material possessions can clear this up when in reality all it really does is push us further, or in some cases only call when we need things. Growing up you always hear guys say “I don’t want a daughter, because I know how men are.” Maybe if you didn’t act so reckless with women you wouldn’t be saying this. The golden rule of thumb: What you lay down with is what you become. Keep that in mind when you’re having sex with these women, because a lot of you are raw dogging and then not thinking about the consequences.

I wish when I got to high school my Dad was a still a constant in my life. I always used to wish that he would love me the same way my Mom did. I know he loves me, but sometimes I wish he held my hand a little tighter, made one more joke with me, or even called me a little more to tell me that even though I feel behind… it’s all going to be okay. Still to this day I envy little six year old me, the little girl who had been Daddy’s little girl, Daddy’s princess.. the one that was always supposed to be held and protected.

I say all this to say, our Black fathers are always appreciated. However, they are missed. They are the Kings we need to continue to appreciate and care for. They are the Kings who need to be held tighter and let known that they are doing a great job. Maybe then we’ll see more progression with fathers in the community… especially those with daughters.

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Nikeita Hoyte

A product of Trinidad and Guyana raised in Brooklyn, Nikeita has always had an undeniable love for writing from a young age. The way she makes words dance on paper is unlike anything you’ve ever read before. She best describes herself as “She likes her Jameson neat, and her eye rolling skills are elite”

Nikeita Hoyte

A product of Trinidad and Guyana raised in Brooklyn, Nikeita has always had an undeniable love for writing from a young age. The way she makes words dance on paper is unlike anything you’ve ever read before. She best describes herself as “She likes her Jameson neat, and her eye rolling skills are elite”